Most human relationships are not grounded in love; they are shaped by fear, attachment, constructed images, and psychological dependence. Because of this, we rarely encounter love in its pure, undistorted form.
Fear distorts everything—including love.
Whenever there is:
fear of losing someone,
fear of being alone,
fear of not being loved in return,
fear of rejection,
what we call “love” becomes nothing more than dependency or attachment.
Love disappears the moment fear enters.
In relationship, each person carries an image of the other.
You hold an image of them; they hold an image of you.
These images are formed from memories, hurts, expectations, and past experiences.
We end up relating not to the actual person, but to these images.
Conflict arises because it is the images that collide—not the human beings themselves.
To truly love someone, one must be free from comparison, judgment, accumulated resentment, and the psychological “pictures” stored about the other.
Only then can relationship remain alive, fresh, and sincere.
When real love is present, you do not act out of obligation.
You do not serve because you “should,” nor care because of duty or responsibility.
Action flows naturally and effortlessly from love.
Where there is compulsion, freedom disappears;
and without freedom, love cannot blossom.
Jealousy and possessiveness destroy love.
Jealousy arises from fear, comparison, insecurity, and the desire to possess.
Krishnamurti calls jealousy “the sorrow of comparison.”
As long as you compare yourself with others, love cannot exist.
Even ambition within a relationship—such as wanting to be special or superior—kills love.
Where there is possession, love becomes a cage.
Most of what we ordinarily call “love” is merely:
physical attraction,
emotional dependency,
psychological comfort,
pleasure-seeking.
These are unstable and ever-changing.
Love is not.
Love appears only when the mind is quiet, free from the wounds of the past, free from expectations, and free from the urge to control.
Freedom is the soil in which love grows.
To “try to love” is meaningless;
love arises naturally when the mind is free.
Love is a state of being.
It expresses itself as compassion, understanding, sensitivity, nonviolence, freedom, and innocence.
Love is never exclusive, never owned.
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courtesy : J. Krishnamurti
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