stress

Mind or Psyche is the faculty by which one is aware of surroundings and by which one is able to experience emotions, remember, reason and make decision.And stress is a process of adapting to challenge as a result of transaction between the person and the situation.Stress can occur  when “good” things happen and it is called Eu-stress

When stress occurs, our mind may translate it into our own body parts as a defense mechanism.Some people translate it into skin and they are called skin reactors.They may develop psoriasis,skin itching(urticaria),even skin cancer.Some are cardiac reactors and they  may develop heart problems as a reaction to stress.Some are intestine/stomach reactors and are prone to peptic ulcer,frequent stomach upset (irritable bowl syndrome)

To same stress,people may respond in various ways and in various intensity.The stress response depends on personality,previous experience with the stress,frustration tolerance,coping style.Type A personality(people who are ambitious with time urgency) are more prone to stress.People who have previous exposure are more stress tolerant to the same stress.

some of the  general effects of stress are Impaired performance,Burnout, Lethargy,Mood disturbance,Concentration difficulties,Sleep and appetite disturbances,Other medical problems

Stress can be controlled by Progressive muscular relaxation,Breathing exercises,Meditation,Yoga, Biofeedback,Guided Imagery ,Counseling ,Hypnosis ,Massage Therapy and,Acupuncture .
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key figures in communication

Usually, there are key images formed in our  mind during childhood through interactions with those significant persons, may be father, or mother – but  sometimes elder sibling , teacher, influential friend  can also have similar role.Such key figures influence us in a substantial way our communication/ interaction .We  learn our communication style from these key figures. Communication being a learned behavior,there is a risk of acquiring a negative style of a key figure in our life.Often we are not aware of  it.

These negative styles become discordant notes in communication. Those discordant notes-verbal or nonverbal- can evoke negative reaction in interpersonal communication.Being awareof ones own discordant notes and suppressing them and being skillful to recognize others discordant notes and resistant to it, is important for a proper communication.Since communication is the back bone of rapport and relationship,the sensitivity to discordant note is so important.

Our mind can assume certain communication styles in a day itself. It can adopt a parental style or a teacher style or a friend style.According to Eric Bern, a person can be like parent, adult or child in interactions. The parent style assumes a mental position which proclaim that-‘I am ok but you are not ok”.The adult position says “I am ok and you too ok”. The child says I am not ok but you are ok.Since most of the interactions are occurring through communication, I think we can apply this principle to communication too.In fact, I have generalized it to the concept of key figures in life.

A parent to parent style communication can be disastrous since both are in authoritative role, where as adult to adult is usually smooth and positive since it involves mutual acceptance.A child to child is like a childish play can be go in either way in its end result. As you can see there are other possibilities of communication with different mental positions. Example parent- child, parent- adult, adult-child etc.My advice don’t be rigid in your mental positions. Try to be flexible as situation demands and let your position synchronize with other persons mental position

Undercurrents in communication

Communication between two persons (sender  reciever), is in fact  not a  momentary,temporary affair but an ongoing continuous process lasts life long.Not only the exchange of ideas but also the exchange of emotions takes place in communication. We may easily forget the idea but not the feeling /emotion created by the communication.Such a feeling will get stored in our “emotional memory store” about the  person(sender).In other words,an emotional understanding to catagorise the  person occurs during the Communication This  emotional understanding  pop up when we meet the person next time..which can be negative or positive….which has continuous effect and also a cumulative  effect as the communication continues.

If you elicit a negative emotional reaction towards you in the reciever in first communication,there is a risk of getting similar sort of evaluation or reaction in second communication  too,since it is an ongoing process.I mean there is a  sustainable unconscious  emotional effect in communication.

Secondly,a previously stored information about the person ,got from another person can colour the first communictaion itself. I mean the emotional understanding/ catagorisation may not be communication derived but from simple second hand information obtained prior to the first communication.

Communication can be verbal and nonverbal.Nonverbal represents your posture,your facial expressions,your movements,which has more ability to create an unconscious effect than verbal.

In certain communication,you may not be knowingly responsible for a negative reaction/evaluation from the other person. Unknowingly,you may activate some of the negative deposits in the unconscious realm of the other person.for example…your voice is similar to his brothers voice…then your voice will activate the center with emotional memory towards his brother…if it is negative…you will get a negative reaction for which you are not actually responsible….this kind of emotional transference is so common in our communication.

Critical comments are sharp aggressive comments which cause insult to the other person.Surely that will elicit a negative reaction.In Indian situations ,people are using more critical comments in their communication. I have noticed this in interaction between parent and child ,in public places,in bus between conductor& passengers, in  treasury,in public institutions etc.Simple ,polite communication is disappearing from our community.

Every relationship in our life is a byproduct of our communication.Be positive  in communication by avoiding prejudices & critical comments; and be aware about unconscious  dimensions.