There is a demon within me,
a darker side of my being.
It is anger,rage , lust etc…..
I am worried about it.
but I cant do anything to annihilate it completely.
I am helpless………
Aggression and libido are two basic instincts
They are like central bones(vertebral column) of mind.
How can I break my own central bone?
A thousand times, I got angry and rage like wildfire.
Thousand times I have repented.
but still it continue……
I know my rage is making me naked……nasty…
I know I am expressing my own weakness…
still it continue…….
I know if I am strong, I have to withstand all kinds of push and pull
Still I get easily knock down by even a weak smash(silly hurt)
I have read hundreds of books on anger-how to control it…
But,the knowedge doesnt help me.
In greek, they say it is daimonic.
(“daimonic” or darker side of our being, noting that “the daimonic (unlike the demonic, which is merely destructive) is as much concerned with creativity as with negative reactions).
Both creativity and anger(rage) has a sort of spontaneity or impulsivity.
One is constructive and the other is destructive
(some kind of anger can be self protective,and anger turned towars oneself leads to suicidal tendency))
The source of both is libidinal energy or a kind of human potential.
My creativity and anger, are my subjective struggle to give form,structure and expressions to my chaos and conflicts.
And it is a dynamic method to meet the devils within me….
And I provoke not only the devil within me,
but through him I provoke the devils within others too.